Bishop by divine oversight

(1952 April 24)

The [new] Bishop spoke and I was disappointed in him - no force - no presence - no leadership - no Light - goes over and over the same point. He spoke for 20 minutes on how everyone should take The Church Times until I thought he would suddenly make himself a paper hat out of one of them and go up and down selling them.

Bargaining

(1952 June 24)

ME is selling out all household goods because the house has been sold to the city for site of new West Side School.... There are 5 volumes of Macauley's History of England, and I said, "How much?" thinking to get them for you. I said 50 cents when they said, "Make me a price." ME said - "Give them to her - give them to her - take them away!" Then when I gathered my things up (he had been drinking beer steadily and acted none too steady) when we were adding up what I got, he made out 50 cents a volume was what he thought. I waited a while and offered him $1.00 for the set and he said $2.00.... DE [his sister] was handling things, and she whispered to me to come back later and I could have them for a dollar all right.

Menu & my table

(1993 Winter)

You say I never tell about the meals. Breakfast I had scrambled eggs on a brown bread buttered toast, jelly, cornflakes, black tea. Dinner at noon - 1/2 boiled potato with butter and parsley over top, fish (choice), peas, fruited buns, black tea. ...

At our table, I sit at one end, in a draft. To my left, A: think of the duchess in Alice; only yesterday I saw her delivered in a wheelchair. Then B: he has a small round nose, ever sneezing in an "Ah-choo" fit; also many others; will we all be coming down with colds? Next C: small man, big appetite; no conversation. Finally the woman on my right, D: as classy as you can get in a wheelchair self propelled; says "My doctor sent me here."

Here kitty kitty

(1951 July 6)

I am afraid that keeping Fraidy Cat is hardly a choice with me any more. Today my morning went hosing out the garage. My dear, what a time we had. Daddy overslept and still had to go thru his long morning [diabetic] ritual. New girl came to help me and he had to wake me as I overslept, having had a bad night. MM overslept because of being up to see fireworks; also fell out of bed and we never heard her.

Well! I got down to the kitchen, LL grabbed his briefcase and ran to the garage, I after him saying, "I am so worried about the kittens" [in the garage].

LL: "Kittens hell! What about me and my trial that opens today?" Tugs at big [garage] door. I throw open the little [side] door. Fraidy darts out. Kits run under car.

LL: "Jesus God! This place smells like a reptile house, and the car is beginning to smell the same way."

Me: "Here kitty kitty. Here kitty kitty. Here kitty kitty. Wait a minute, please!"

LL: "For godssake, does that mean I can't go? I gotta get to my trial."

Me (covering eyes): "Go on, go on." He goes. I peek. Still two kits alive.

The fact is they used to rush from the car but now are used to it. And they are getting more used to it, to their fatal end, methinks. Well, of course I had to clean the garage - my morning gone.

Also (this I am just learning) Fraidy just had another series of sessions with Tom Cats on the hill and more kittens are on the way. Be here in two months. In my innocence I had thought they they had kittens spring and fall, as the book says, but Q says they can go on and on; when young and old they are not so productive. [More on findings homes for Fraidy and her kittens.]

Don't risk it

(1994 May)

P.P.S. This is the worst letter I ever wrote in my life but I'm not going to throw it out and start another as it may turn out just as bad.

Black & blue

(1951 October 20)

Dear Gloomy Gus, when I go out I must get some black ink for writing to you - blue-black doesn't give the mood the right tone.

Like it or lump it

(1952 November 5)

One day I scolded Mary Margaret for getting spots on her clothes and tearing them, thus making more work for me, and she said, "Well, do you like being a mother, or don't you?" So direct.

Bad pot luck

(1951 October 22)

Spent about two hours Sunday afternoon making a chicken pie [for a potluck]. It was lush except for the crust which was the worst you could ever imagine. Suffice it to say the conversation naturally turned on death as they picked it off.

Grace

(1994 April 18)

Well, this noon I was glad to have come from a religious family. All were seated in dining room [for Easter at Schmitt Home] ... when Pat trust the mike in my face and said, "Say the grace." I was able to say, "Bless, O Father, this thy food to our use and us to thy service."

Perfect control

(1949 October 3)

You must forgive me too for being so dictatorial - I just want you to be so perfect, I guess.

The lost word

(1993? Fall)

I knit on and on making 6-1/2 inch squares for my afghan. Every time Will comes up to see me, I am knitting and he wants to say, "Are you still working on your a-----n" but cannot remember the word. So I say "afghan" and he says "That's the one I was thinking of."

The Algonquin Round Table

(1987 September 29)



I had a wonderful time last night! I watched the TV program "Ten Years of Lunch at the Algonquin" (a NYC hotel). It was called the Round Table, and it was a large round table at which all the wits in that magic circle, calling themselves "Thanatopsis," gathered every day for lunch. Lorin and I loved every one and read about them in The New Yorker magazine, for which many of them wrote, quoting each other.



Someone said, "Calvin Coolige is dead." Dorothy Parker: "How can they tell?"



Someone going bald said of himself, "My head is as round and soft as my wife's behind." Roberty Benchley felt of it and said, "Why, so it is. So it is."



Dorothy Parker wrote for The New Yorker in various capacities, usually poems. She wore horn rimmed spectacles but took them off when she talked to you. "Men don't make passes / At girls who wear glasses." One time she was in a hospital with an abortion, and she said it was from "putting all her eggs in one basket."

They bought an island which Alex Woollcott took upon himself to belong to him and told others when they could come! Occasionally they were bothered by trippers. Sometimes Harpo Marx would jump out at them from bushes naked and screaming, waving weapons to scare them off. All the time they were publishing their books (Edna Ferber), writing plays for the Marx brothers, editorials (Heywood Braun), etc. etc.

When the Sancho and Vanzetti trial was on, they took sides with them and paraded.

A little money made trips to Europe possible. A picture was shown of Alex W sitting outside a cafe drinking ale and from that spot he never moved to see scenic sights. He later was on the radio - "Hear ye! Hear ye!" - as the Town Crier. Also went to Hollywood and was in several plays. Many of them went there to write and act. ...

I loved every one and knew their names better than I do today. At last when it was over, "Stumbling" was played, and I got up to shut it off but danced around the room first with Fred Astaire, also a member.

An old joke

(1950 March 16)

Hysterical at lunch over an old joke. LL was telling how affectionate Lullaby [the cat] was this morning. She licked his cheek. "I suppose it was the toilet water," said he. MM looked at him. "Toilet water?" says she. "Not your kind, Snooks," said he, choking.

De gustibus

(1950 March 11)

About "Streetcar [Named Desire]," I simply cannot see how you can go for a dose of neurotic women like that and then look down your nose at Hemmingway. Eve saw it with Uta Hagen and said no gauze in set but likewise splendid acting.

A transparent fix

(1950 March 11)

I am so happy the black sweater job pleased you. Of course I really thot you'd like it. I consider it a compliment you never noticed or mentioned the darning I did on the elbows. I used a duplicate knitting stitch. Look, and you can't find it. Also many other small holes were patched for you.

Marooned in March

(1950 March 6)

We are marooned on a hill of ice. Car is parked by somebody's mailbox. Father Stewart sounded so discouraged when I phoned him we thot it was too risky to come, but first the snow started to melt, then froze, then snow, then drizzle, then freeze again. We all are getting tired of it.

The musical fruit

(1950 March 20)



Louis [Dodge] is at the organ [in church] now - Franz Wagner in hospital, not fine. I went Friday night and heard him first time. Very correct in cassock and cotta. He forgot most of the ah-mens and continued on with verses when congregation wanted to stop. Especially last hymn - we thot more was coming - suddenly he stopped short - everyone thot he lost his place and would go on anon. Suddenly a great crescendo and out poured a postlude - we knelt and thanked our Maker.



............



P. S. I am really writing this to tell you about our organist [Louis Dodge, the retired music professor with impaired vision]. He was very smooth this [Sunday] morning on verses and ah-mens, and Daddy told me why. He came with a handful of lima beans, which he counted out per verse - 5 verses, 5 beans - and then took one away, verse by verse. More than one way to skin a cat, eh?

Mail order catalogs

(1995 March)

It's about time I bought a few things I need such as underwear. While I was lying in bed wondering how I was ever going to accomplish this, a maid came in, and I talked to her about some of her former jobs, such as Miles Kimball and others; so tomorrow I'll get busy and write for a catalog or two. Luckily, I have a tape measure along with my knitting. It will be fun waiting for a package. I asked this maid where she shopped, and she said at Madison and Dodgeville where Land's End has its factory.

Teach him a lesson

(1992 March)

[Daughter Mary Margaret has brought her cat with her while keeping house for Polly.]

Cyrus has now taken to walking on my dresser but some day when I catch him he will have a spanking.... Having had lunch, I went to bed and had my nap. Cyrus so glad to see me he got under the covers but got right out again. He has taken to walking on my dresser! I am going to have the fly swatter handy for a spanking!

End of the line

(1994 March)

Seems to me this pen needs to be thown in the waste basket.

Before laptops

(1952 March 17)

Sitting in the Blue Chair, forcefully restraining Copy Cat from following the pen with my left hand, balancing writing materials on my lap, I write thee. ... Copy Cat has finally won out and is lying a dead weight across my arms. I've been so long away from the typewriter, I've forgotten the keyboard. But it was a good idea.

Gorgeous gourds

(1994 March)

Don sits next to me at breakfast. He doesn't hear very well, so at times I just tend to my cornflakes; but however it started I don't know, except here I was talking about using gourds as darning eggs in mending stockings. He looked at me goggle eyed and said, "We never had any of those gorge things in our garden. We grew stuff to eat."

Spring cleaning

(1951 March 17)

I've been so busy. It took me two weeks to make curtains for Maggie's room and one year to get at them. I had such bad luck; practically every stich had to be ripped out and done over. I started to houseclean [for spring]. On the days BD had Mrs. W clean for her, Mrs. W came to me while BD was in Florida. Got MM's closet and room done. Mr. H is going to prepare the bathroom for painting and paint it next week. If you have any suggestions, prepare to make them now.

Gingersnaps

(1995 March)

Bruce brought me a couple boxes of cookies and I think you did too, but who brought the gingersnaps I am still on? I can't recall. I like one once in a while, but better eaten with something than one after another.

Short circuits

(1952 March 17)

As to your laundry, I don't know when you will get it, though I try hard enough. Thursday I turned on the machine, blew a fuse, called Strang's [electric] who rushed over Friday. Decided a new motor should be put in at once. Put it in Saturday. Today [Sunday] I filled it with your things and blew another fuse. What tomorrow will bring I cannot say.

A Green Day

(1952 March 17)

This afternoon MM ... [and neighbor girls] went to the Luthern Church to the Girl Scout 40th Birthday Party, where various members gave the Promise, etc. Doings of troops for year were reviewed, AR led singing, a scout movie was shown by Rev. S and lastly refreshments were served, cupcakes decorated in green and green punch. While I was finishing my cake, a woman leaned over and asked if I were your mother. Said she had you in second grade when she was a practice teacher at Normal....

The Big M

(1994 February)

When I came back to my room, a teenager was making my bed. She was wearing a black T shirt with a big M on it. "What's the M for?" I asked. "I dunno," she said, "I found it in the road and I kept it."

A dark & stormy night story

(1990 Maundy Thursday)

I suppose Sally will start rock collecting now. The age is right. I wish she'd start on her [stamp] album. Everything is so stepped up now, I suppose it is not too early to learn about S-E-X. She should have a good start with gerbels around.

It was a dark and stormy night and a traveler was tired and weary when in the distance he saw a lighted farm house. Soon he was knocking at the door, then welcomed in, and asked join in supper. Afterwards he sat by the fire until it was bed time, when they all went upstairs. The farmer explained they had only one bed; so first the wife got in, then the husband, then the traveler. After a while the horses got to biting each other and kicking, and the farmer had to go out to the barn to quiet them. "Now's your chance," said the wife. "OK" said the traveler and went downstairs and finished off the cottage cheese.

(Not according to Rabelais.)

[Marginal note:] This was on the radio last week.

Never a borrower nor a lender be

(1994 February 22)

I lent a person a library book and she put it in the waste basket where it was rescued and taken back to library.

The Rosary

(1995 February)

I heard an announcement and went out in the Lobby to see what was up and found only one person present, who told me the crowd had all gone down on the elevator to chapel to say the Rosary. So I came back here to my room with time to write a note to you. I went once and the lady leader kept saying, "All of us Catholics and Polly!" And one girl told me I said the prayer better than she did and she was going to tell tell the priest. I never went after that and said my prayers at home.

Conveniences

(1995 January)

I own three wastebaskets and find it very handy - one in bath room, one by bedside, and one by desk. Worse than your two telephones.